Archive for the humour Category

‘Men’tally Challenged

Posted in humour, Trivia with tags , , on March 16, 2012 by salaamreaders

We always knew it, but it’s official now. A recent study has proved that men cannot think straight when there are pretty women around! It seems one of the researchers forgot his address after a few minutes of conversation with an attractive women he had just met. That set him thinking if it was a general phenomenon and subsequent experiments revealed that men indeed performed less well in mental tasks after being in company of beautiful women, than they normally did otherwise. I now know why I always came back with that feeling of having made a fool of myself, after, trying to impress that pretty girl in the office!

Have you observed how women are in control in such situations while the men are, well, generally salivating over them? The reason it seems is, that, men are ‘evolutionally programmed’ to go into a ‘mental decline’ at such times. They are thinking more of mating opportunities than anything interesting to say to the women. To put it scientifically, men ‘temporarily absorb most of their cognitive resources’ in being ‘reproductively focused’ at such times. No wonder that women should think that men always talk to their breasts. Methinks, the thinking organs of the male of the species are located in their nether regions!



In Which the Long Arm of the Law Catches up with Them!

Posted in humour, India, Law with tags , , , , on December 1, 2011 by salaamreaders

Boy meets girl. Boy takes the girl to a park. And never the twain shall meet again. At least, in a park in Ghaziabad! And one may well wonder, why? Because, the law is on the prowl, and how!

Imagine, being out with your boy friend on a date and suddenly finding the law- in all its majesty- looming large over the two of you, demanding to know your business in the park! The prospect is likely to douse the most romantic of your feelings and by the time it finishes off with you, the boy friend would be quivering like the proverbial quail! That he would have gained a few inches of quadriceps, thanks to the dead squats he has been made to perform, would have been his only bonus.

If news paper reports are to be believed, the law, it seems, was out with full force in Ghaziabad  to “provide maximum security for women” and to “stop innocent girls being trapped by boys with evil motives” for it was customary for eve-teasers to stand outside girl’s schools and colleges “to trap unwitting girls”. The top brass of the district police were reportedly perturbed at the rampant incidents of eve-teasing and had ordered “Operation Majnu” to control it. The result was that the police swooped down, with television crews in tow, on unsuspecting couples cavorting in public parks and generally roughed them up. That the police were led by a woman officer was only incidental! And that the media, gleefully, splashed pictures of the hapless couples, across their front pages, were only to be expected in these present times of the freedom of the press.

It would, of course, not have occurred to the police, that, the only circumstances warranting their intervention in the matter were if the girls were present without their consent or the parties involved were engaged in indecent or obscene acts. Such niceties are, in any case, not expected from a police force which, perhaps, admires Charles’ Dickens! Remember him in Oliver Twist? Did he not say that the law was an ass?

Would you rather risk your girl friend’s ire than taking her out and be caught with your pants down in a park doing the squats? I agree, it’s not much of a choice, but give it a thought, though.

Of Love and Marriage

Posted in humour with tags , , , , , , , , on October 16, 2011 by salaamreaders

Should a man get married? No, I am not being frivolous. This is, indeed, a serious question deserving the most profound respect and consideration. And the answer, my friends, was given by the venerable old man Socrates himself, and about three thousand years ago too. He said, and I quote, “By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” Though his advice did not save him from becoming a philosopher, it might still save you considerable trouble, and more importantly, much avoidable expense!

But if you are still skeptical, you may wish to examine, instead, the question when should a man marry? Since I am a firm believer in learning from the experience and wisdom of the masters, I would urge you to do likewise. Sir Francis Bacon answered this question by saying that, “a young man not yet, an elder man not at all.” And which married man, after his ardour has been cooled by experience, could argue with that!

If you would still like to take the plunge, you may consider, at least, the question why should a man get married? For love, one might argue. But they say, love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. And don’t forget Bacon who said, “That it is impossible to love, and be wise.” Would you rather be foolish than wise?

For sex, then? But on this, who but an American actress should have the last word? Zsa Zsa Gabor said, and I quote again, “I know nothing about sex because I was always married.” Think again!

So it is up to you my friends. Learn from the masters and stay happy or get married now and repent later at your leisure. Remember, Mae West, who said that “­­Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet.” As for me, I would rather get a dog than a wife because if a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting!

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